Extremely Explicit (not for children)

Yes, I know that this is not homemade, but just chill and see if you think its as funny as I did.  I was sitting at lunch recently and one of my friends told me that we should make swears and cusses acceptable in society.  We started by changing bitch to car.  "I was riding my bitch all the way home and I crashed"  Then, I changed dick to water bottle.  "where's your dick", "oh I left it in my bitch".  Nigger could be apple pie.  "golly gee, I left my nigger in the oven for to long and burned it".  "I left my nigger out to cool on the window-sill and someone stole it".  The possibilities are practically endless, so leave a comment so we can see what you changed.  I thought these were so funny that I accidentally smashed my sandwich with my fist.  Check back soon for a list of my favorite youtube videos.